Email received Jun 21, 2010

To start with, imagine a father's day card. There were lots of Charlie Brown/Snoopy themed ones this year that made me think of you, Dad, but as I told my companion: Not spending $5 on a greeting card shows my love for my father. And for David, the father's day card of all father's day cards: you're walking through the store, you walk past the card aisle, all the father's day cards are displayed in front, your eye is drawn to one near the top, there on the cover is...Darth Vader. It doesn't even matter what the card says, that's just awesome. Some more thoughts for father's day, Sis Knuteson and I went to visit a referral a couple weeks ago who wasn't so much interested in learning about the church as he was in telling us we were wrong, but in a very pleasant and friendly manner. His son, who is a preacher, gave him a dog named Moses who says his prayers: he puts his front paws up on a chair and lays his head down on top of them; but the best story was when they showed this off to a random black lady they met on the street one day, "Praise JE-sus!! I've just seen a Dog that says his Prayers!" We chatted for a while and most of what he said was just his interpretation of all the religious studies he's done (he's chosen a mainstream Christian religion) but the phrase that pierced our hearts and won't leave our minds was "I am not a son of God, nor will I ever be a son of God." This has literally come up in conversation at least once a day since, with many references to scriptures and hymns and "See, right there, Child of God!" The thought hit me the other day that while chatting to him about other topics was very enjoyable, that was a fleeting sort of happiness, but knowing who I am, what I really mean to my Father in Heaven, and my true potential brings a lasting joy that nothing can take away. Nothing. I was grateful yesterday when many of the talks (we do go to three Sacrament Mtgs now, don't know if I mentioned that) focused on our Father in Heaven, and one even quoted from a story by Pres. Monson, "the worth of a human soul is its capacity to become like God." If anything, run-ins with people like this only cement our testimonies and drive them deeper into our minds and hearts.

Last night at dinner our host was telling us a story about a nephew, I believe; he was sitting by her and said "I can speak Spanish!" "Really?" "Yeah," as he picked up a fork, "Fark!" He's from Utah. We all laughed ourselves silly. Another home we were in recently has a full band player piano. She turned it on and I just sat in fascination while scents of specialty candies and fancy coffees danced through my head. Only this one didn't require a quarter and there was no plexiglass barrier, I actually sat down and played a little on it, it was awesome. (Editor's note: She's referencing an old-fashioned candy store we used to go to as kids which had a plexiglass encased player piano in the back.)

I don't mean to alarm you, but there's a black widow in our fridge, it's the one we caught last week. We actually caught it outside in the driveway, but we figured it was best to catch it outside before it had a chance to find it's way inside. The only problem is now we don't know what to do with it. It sat on our table for a while in one of those small Glad containers (perfect for spider catching) but we've since built a larger spider home...no, it's not a pet, it doesn't have a name...okay, it's Thad, and we may have put one of the other dead spiders in there to see what would happen. It was like watching the Discovery channel right there on our kitchen table, the horror on our faces obviously overcome by the fascination of watching it live. Now we've put the whole thing in the fridge because that apparently slows them down so they aren't quite as lively and eventually we need to put the real lid on so we can have our object lesson baptismal font back. The exciting life of a missionary in America, oh the drama. Really though, cockroaches are the drama bug; someone from our ward came and sprayed all around our apartment and the next morning we counted 15 ginormous, ucky bugs dead or dying on the sidewalk. Everything else is content to die in their little flowerbed homes, but the cockroaches have to come out so everyone can see. Get over yourselves.

Oh, I plum (plumb?) forgot, we're without a car until Wed. Someone had to borrow it to drive north to train a new car person up there, so we walked a lot on Sat, our feet hurt and we were very tired, but we really feel like missionaries. And today we had an excuse to hang out with Sis Johnson and Sis Mack so they could give us rides to the library and shopping and stuff. Okay, my comp is done so we should head out, now we have to find a ride home and figure out what to do with the rest of our day. Fun!!

-Sis. Cloward

Email received Apr 28, 2010

Okay, I started a letter last week, but I didn't get very far so I might as well just write it all in an email so you can all get it together instead of missing your flight by mere hours. (In response to the news that Amy gets to go to Indonesia with Mom and Dad.) (Exciting realisation about Amy going to Indonesia: that must mean she's finally got a passport. Yay!!! Now we don't have to leave her behind when the rest of us evacuate to Canada or Scotland or northern Siberia.) The #1 thing I should have asked last week is did anyone by any chance do my taxes? Also, don't know if you read the jokes on the candy that went in my Easter bag, but this was my favorite: How do you get the water into watermelon? Plant it in the spring! Ahahahahahahahaha Ahahahahahahahahha Hahahahaha...Ohhh...sigh. Sister Johnson doesn't always get the word-play jokes.

Here are all the thoughts I've written/thought in the last two weeks organized into a somewhat logical stream. (Editor's note: The next two paragraphs are in reference to a difficult experience that someone we are close to is going through.) I've already decided I'd never go home - even for a death (sorry) (Name removed) has an excellent support system, I'm here to help others who don't know where to go to find that hope. This is not my experience, the Lord gave it to me so I can strengthen others. I almost can't believe it's real, but I don't think I'm in denial, I think I've just actually developed that much faith and trust in the Lord. Sure, I regret the circumstances that brought it about, but when I look at the future, all I feel is joy and peace. I don't even see it as a trial that may/will turn into a blessing - I just see what a wonderful gift it is - for (****) and the whole family, I don't know how or when, but I just know (****) are so blessed to be able to go through this situation, that the Lord trusts (****) enough to take it on.

I wondered only briefly what I could have done differently to prevent this, then recalled how many witnesses I've received that I am exactly where the Lord intended me to be right now, so I obviously was not meant to be home for this. Whatever the implications of that may be, it's wonderfully freeing to see the Lord's hand and feel free of guilt - and that's not just me, I'm close to the spirit here so you have to believe what I tell you and I tell you I have felt the Lord in no way holds any of you accountable for this - even (****) - He's blessing you!

I admit it, I'm behind on my scripture study, ever since the beginning of the last transfer I just haven't been able to catch up, I keep trying though; I've got more than half of the book to go, and if not, I do have an extra week in August before I start the D&C - good planning. But I saw the hand of God in it the week after you called; I spent that entire week studying Alma 21-24 Here are some of my insights: I am here because I know the power of the Atonement is real and everyone must know or they will live forever in misery and I can't bear that thought.

It's not about your faith bringing a level of blessing - it's about having the faith to accept whatever the Lord's will is with a grateful heart. We may complain about a small sting that lasts a moment when we can't see the enormous pain we just avoided. Why do we complain about the pinpricks when we can't see the epidemics we're spared.

What is the difference between those who stumble and are lost and those who stumble yet remain faithful? John 16:33 says "ye shall have tribulations" not maybe, shall, but we can rely on the Savior for comfort and guidance. Each time you fall, you can get back up and try again - the gospel offers unlimited pitches & innings, if you don't hit the ball, just keep swinging!

Email received Feb 22, 2010

Ephesians 6:12 I don't know if I like this verse because I like fantasy stories or if I like fantasy stories because they remind me of this principle, but...I can't begin to tell you - (well I could begin, but I don't know how it would come across in an e-mail, or even face-to-face) - the experiences that have happened the last 2 weeks and last night in particular have changed me and I can never be the same. I know too much of the love of God to deny it to someone else; I know too much of faith in God to fear what man can do. I can barely believe I'm even writing these words, but they're true, they are all true, it's all true. The Lord does unexplainable things through ordinary, explainable means - even three humble, seemingly inadequate missionaires.

In other news I've been sick all week. I got an 'upper-respiratory-tract infection' that knocked me out for three days and grabbed hold of my asthma so I'm left with a lingering cough (you should have seen the collection of cough drops I accumulated at Stake Conference yesterday.) We had been asked to sing in the Sat. night session and had been preparing for two weeks, I prayed on Tuesday that the Lord would move the illness along quickly so I would be able to sing come Sat. and, wouldn't you know it, I was able to contribute my voice without losing a lung on the stand. It did seem a little shaky at some points during the week if I'd actually make it, but the Lord knows what He's doing. We also found out on Mon night that the song we had been rehearsing was one of the songs the choir would be singing the next day so when we got together to rehearse on Fri night we whipped together a lovely arrangement of an arrangement you may know with another arrangement thrown in - have I mentioned Roger Sorensen, the amazingly talented musician-dairy farmer? Well, he's awesome, we couldn't have done it without him; it turned out pretty well, all things considered.

I'll send all my current medical receipts home today; I don't know if the prescriptions for sickyness need to be submitted to Missionary Medical as a secondary insurance, I don't think I gave that information to the pharmacy yet.

I love Sister Shrier.

I think that's about it for now. Yeah...Much love to you all, keep up the good work!

-Sister Cloward



Get Your Own Free Hypster.com Playlist.

Mission Home Letter received Aug 18, 2009

Letter Home

Nevada Las Vegas West Mission

Date: 8/10/09

Ole! I mean ¡Hola! Here I sit in the Mission Office with Sis. Rummler and 18 brand new Elders. The NV LV West Mission has about 180 Elders & 10 Sisters. Wow. To answer other questions - I get about an hour of email each week (on the MyLDSMail thing) that may be just enough time to read any emails and maybe write one - I suppose that would be good to post as a general note - So you'll have to tell everyone to write me the old-fashioned way so I can return personal correspondence thusly. (Editor's note: These are in response to questions I asked her about her communication options and rules.) Okay, I've been up since 4:00AM so if this is wacky & disjointed - that's why . . . maybe. Oh, & we've been told the best option for packages is USPS Flat Rate because they can be forwarded whereas other packages may take a week or more to get to us depending on our area. Allright - my trainer is Sis. Moreno and I'll be serving in the South Zone (that's one of five zones in Las Vegas.) Can't think of much more right now. I'll try to write again soon.

Love, Sister Cloward

P.S. - Yes, you can call me whatever you want in letter, in fact they request you include the first name in the address. (Editor's note: This was in response to whether or not it mattered how she was addressed in letters.)

Oh yeah - red tile roofs, palm trees, & mountains in the distance - I love it! (Editor's note: Katie lived in Southern California, which is similarly described, from the age of 4 to 12. Fond memories.)

Plus...Look ma, no nylons! Yay!

My Testimony

"The First Day In The Mission Field"

I know I have a Father in Heaven and He loves me. His Son, Jesus Christ, atoned for my sins and knows what I'm going through. I know Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ called Joseph Smith to restore the gospel to the earth & the Book of Mormon was translated by the power of God and is the word of God. I know Thomas S. Monson is the Lord's prophet on earth today. I know I am supposed to be here & I have a great mission to serve on this earth and as long as I focus on the Lord I can accomplish anything He asks of me. I know these things to be true.

Missionary's Signature: (Check it out below, it's just squiggles!) Date: 8/11/09

Letter recieved Aug 7, 2009

I don't get much time to write letters so this is just the right size. (Editor's note: This letter was written on a small greeting card, which eventually became 2 cards.) So here's the health saga of my district: on the second day here E. Hardy hurt his knee in gym; after several appointments (which always seemed to be during Bro. Vallett's class) he discovered he had torn his ASL and both meniscuses (menisci?) After hearing the story of how he came on a mission, you can't imagine a worse thing happening to this wonderful Elder. He decided to have surgery here (yesterday 8/1/09) and do his recovery at the MTC and go on to his mission. We are all so glad because he is where he needs to be and will be a great missionary. That's just the beginning. The worst present I received for my birthday was a sore throat; on Tuesday it was full-blown congestion and dripping everywhere (that's the day B. Vallett asked: "Sis. Cloward are you coming down with a cold?" and I responded: "I am DOWN with a cold, there is no coming!") and on Wed. if I wasn't eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner, I had a cough drop in my mouth. I went through an entire bag in two days, and it took another 24 hrs. to get the post-cough drop feeling out of my mouth, I couldn't even taste the Thieves in my water!) (Editor's note: Theives is an essential oil which helps to strengthen the immune system.) Thurs (our first P-day!) dawned with only one cough drop and though it took me a little while to climb four flights of stairs wearing a backpack, I felt 10X better (Did I mention I live on the top floor of our building?) The progress has continued and I am now only coughing a few times a day, mostly cured by drinking water.

But that's not the end. I was only the first to get sick - Sis. Sheffield moved into our room on Sun. night & also woke up with a cold, but hers has been lower key & longer lasting and now S. Rummler & S. Young are sick as well. We think it started with one of our roommates who was sick when arrived. Also E. Jensen sits next to me in class everyday and said he had a sore throat yesterday. So between the sniffling, coughing, and Elders leaving for various & sundry doctor appointments, our teachers have been concerned that our district will start dying one by one and none of us will make it out of the MTC. It's been slightly humorous (on Sat. we had only 2 Elders & 2 Sisters, & B. Phipps kept telling everyone - "Make way, I've got my whole district coming through, & we need a lot of room!" Or - "12 Apostles? There were only three Nephites!" And, of course, - "I feel like the fifth wheel on an awkward double date.") We've all skipped at least one Gym time to take a nap --- Now I don't tell you these things to cause any alarm, as I said it has been the source of much humor and bonding among our class.

Another Running joke has been the varying attitudes toward the traditional missionary weight gain. Certain Elders such as E. Perisich are concerned about gaining while at the MTC because their activity level is lower than usual (he's a second-degree black belt in Karate) and eat accordingly. Other Elders have come to full acceptance of the weight they will gain and do nothing to stop it, or, in the case of E. Jensen, aid it's arrival. There is always cold cereal available in the cafeteria and for the first week E. Jensen ended every meal with a bowl. His weight "goal" was 20 lbs. - then S. Rummler challenged that she could gain 30 lbs before he gained his 20; somehow this got upped to 40/30 and now every meal ends with all the Elders putting their unfinished food on E. Jensen's plate and telling him he has to eat it because he's the district leader and E. Jensen insisting that as long as anyone else is eating S. Rummler should be eating something too. Well this has provided hours of joy & pleasure for the rest of us (especially these days when our entire table laughing hysterically dissolves into a cacophony of coughing.)

More Spiritual highlights include: I am interacting & engaging with everyone with no signs of mental ill health; (Editor's note: Katie used to have strong Social Anxiety, but has overcome much of it and learned to manage it well in the last few years.) my spiritual confidence is growing & I feel the fire of the important of this work & my calling; my biggest fear is not being able to connect with my investigators & fill their needs, but I know that if I continue to prepare as well as I can, with experience & a good trainer those skills will come & I know the Lord will Bless me with all things I need so I will devote all my time & energy to His work & invite all to come unto Him!

Love, Sister Cloward

P.S. Send Vitamins

Letter received Jul 30, 2009

7/22-26/09

Hello All! I arrived safely at the MTC, on time, and was the first of my companionship to arrive. I got checked in and taken to my room where I met our roommates Sister Liljenquist & Sister Rhondean. They are going to Indonesia and have been here for 3 weeks which means after my 3 weeks they will still have another 3 weeks to go. I then went to get lunch because I was very hungry; as I didn't have a companion yet I sat by myself but was soon joined by a Sister Horning and her companion Sis. Marble who are heading to Winnipeg, Canada (Editor's note: It turns out this Sister is the niece of a woman in our ward who was Katie's visiting teacher before the mission.) and a Sister Brobst going to Phoenix, AZ who was also brand new and hadn't found her companion yet. Okay, I don't have much time so I'm gonna skimp on the details and just get the highlights. My companions are Sister Rummler from a small town in Wisconsin, also headed to Las Vegas West, and Sis Young from a small town near Bakersfield, she's going to Salt Lake South. Yup, I get to be in a trio! We are in Branch 53, District E; the Elders in our district are Elder Jensen from Baltimore (no he doesn't recall meeting Adam Salt) (Editor's note: Adam is a young man in our ward who just got back from the Baltimore Mission, well, almost a year ago actually.) he's our District Leader and is actually here waiting on a visa for Edinburgh, Scotland; his companion is Elder Perisich from Milwaukee, OR, he's heading to the Salt Lake City South Mission as well; so are Elder Hardy, from "as far south as you can get" in LA, with the accent to match and Elder Lotz (Lō-tz) from Virginia (his accent sometimes sounds lie a cross vetween Old VA family and Australia or New Zealand, it's very interesting to listen to.) Our first couple of days were really busy with group meetings and jumping right into class, but things are starting to settle in now that we have more time to study and actually do all the things we were told to do in all the meetings our first day. Our teachers are Brother Phipps & Brother Vallett. Bro. Phipps is real energetic and high speed while Bro. Vallett is little softer, but they're both pretty powerful & direct. They've also been real great at throwing us right into teaching: as a class, to other classes, and so on.

Well, I started this letter Thurs. night and I've only had snatches of time to work on it; now it's Sunday and some things have changed. The other new district in our branch has three sets of elders and a trio of sisters. From what I've heard, Sis. Young's comp was supposed to be a sister from Canada but I don't know why she didn't make it, the trio in the other district has a sister who's going to Dublin, but is waiting on a visa, so the Branch President (President Bishop - truly) is going to have Sister Sheffield (the visa-waiter) move into our room and be Sis. Young's companion. We're a little sad because after the first couple of days of being overwhelmed and quiet, we've been getting to know each other better and the dynamics are real fun; so we're trying to view it not as losing a Sister, but gaining a Sister. The district from our branch that is leaving tomorrow is going to Tonga (seems to be 2/3 1st generation from Tongan families living in Utah) but our zome leaders, coordinating sister & music director were all in that district - that's pretty much, well, all the missionary level branch leadership, so they had to completely reorganize. Guess who's the new music director? (Editor's note: Katie was the Choir Director in our ward before she left.) If you guessed ME! you can go get a piece of cake from the kitchen (unless you guys already finished it off, then just think warm, happy thoughts.) I think that's most of the overview up to now; I get to email on Thurs. so hopefully you receive this before then. I love you very much and am grateful for all our experiences together. Stay true, stay strong, the Gospel is true - shall we not go on in so great a cause?

Katie
XOXOXO